Cycling Hypos

Well, it's been awhile since I last made an entry. Things have gotten better, I have made little changes and those changes are good! However, I have a thought. This deals with long distance relationships. Are long distance relationships worth it? Are the bumps along the way even more severe than those in a 'normal' relationship?

Speaking from a bias point of view, I believe long distance relationships are much harder than 'normal' relationships. First of all, distance is the major factor which dampens the mood of the relationship. Having to endure day after day, night after night without the other is very tiring. Secondly, trust. One must trust the other in order to make the relationship work. Personally, I trust G. But from my past relationships (yes, they were all LDR's [Long Distance Relationships]) trust was what brought them all crashing down. Not that I cheated or they cheated, it was the trust that they wouldn't cheat. Finally, physical contact between the partners leads to encounters which are mostly full of 'lust'. When the the two partners come together after being alone for so long, usually the physical aspect of the relationship takes over. I am not saying this is wrong, being apart so long it's bound to happen, but shouldn't there be a moment of self-control?

Personally, I never wanted to get into another LDR but I find myself in one. I love G very much. However, my mind is plagued by my past LDR. The manner in which it ended has eradicated any trust I once held. I don't wanna punish G over my past, but how do I allow myself to recover from my past FAILED relationship? G knows how I feel about LDRs and assures me that there is no other nor does G want another. Yet, in my synical mind, I find myself thinking and thinking and I always come to the same conclusion: I don't deserve G.

Perhaps these are moments of self-doubt and self-hate, but is there a bit of truth in my mindless thoughts? Only time and patients will tell. . .

Until next time, may sugar plum fairies and cycling hypos invade your dreams . . .