"It's comin' on Christmas and they're cuttin' down trees and singing songs of joy and peace, oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on . . ." You and me both.
As much as I love Christmas, I feel this overwhelming sadness that always holds on even clear after New Year's. Try as I may, I keep this feeling at bay but it returns, sometimes greater, sometimes controllable. Perhaps it's the weather or lack there of that makes me feel this way, perhaps it's the general feeling around me that I am picking up on, but this feeling seems to grow and grow.
I'm tired, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I wish I could just let it all go and never look back again. Then I think, 'That would be the easy way out.' So, what if it is? Why can't it be easy for a change? How much more of this does one need to feel in order to know one really exists? Perhaps it is true, we allow our selves to be happy or sad, the choice is ours. Is it really?
I don't choose to be tired, but I am tired. I don't choose to be sad, but here it is. I can LIE to myself and say I am happy, but what's so wrong with being sad? Perhaps I just need a jolt in my life to wake me from this coma of melancholy and the infinite sadness in which I find myself.
Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year
2 comments:
your blog is very good......
I think we all feel this way at times. But I agree with you. We do have control of our emotions and feelings to a certain extent. But there is nothing wrong with being sad. I think when people tell you to cheer up is because they care about you. But being sad could be a coping mechanism. Hope things turn around for the better. ;) Hang in there. At times you just need to light them candles, turn your stuffed animals and picture frames around and have at it. Meaning some alone time.
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