Well . . . here I sit. Alone in my office for a lunch break. As I sit here waiting for my Cup O'Noodles to soften, I feel this need to write. I was struck with a thought while sitting in my vehicle outside. What change have I contributed to this life of mine? Change and hope have been said a lot these past months and though I believe we have the hope for change, the hope for change for my own life has fallen short.
I spoke of change for the country and how Obama would bring this about. Yet, I failed in my own attempts to change what matters most. Myself. All these years have been one continuous life that hasn't changed, sure my age and hairstyle have changed but the fundamentals of self, have not. I allowed myself to be sucked into this lighted abyss.
I make no promises to myself nor to you, the world. But I still find myself with one promise that I feel I need to face. The promise of a better life for myself. I haven't fulfilled my educational goals and this is the foundation on which I need to stand in order for this better life to exist. Tomorrow is a always a good excuse for the mistakes of today, but I will not allow myself that luxury.
Today, I will change from within in order to change without. I've let so many people down, but in the end I've let myself down the most. I've forgotten myself along the way. If I cry, I don't cry out of self-pity nor narcissism, but out of hope of my own destiny.
Don't wait for tomorrow, today is here and is waiting . . . waiting for change, waiting for hope.
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