Cashiers Are People Too

To begin, I am a cashier at Wal-Mart. This is my second job (part-time) and let me tell you, as easy as it looks, it isn't! The store in which I work, seems to be the busiest one! We live in a tourist area so there are a lot of tourists who visit our store. Some are cool, they make conversation and all in all make it a pleasant working experience.

However, there are those who, for whatever reason, seem to think we are their personal SLAVES! Oh, no honey, this bitch don't play that game. For example, one guy put his stuff down and the conveyor belt was on so it was bringing his items to the cash register. Well, I was helping a lady load her bags into her cart, and the guy sees that the conveyor belt keeps moving and the gentlemen behind him puts his stuff and and pushes his items further. Well, the items bunch up and keep "rolling" in the same area. Just as I get back to the register, one of his PLASTIC toys falls off the conveyor belt. He looks at it, then back up at me, then back down at it. Mind you, I am on the other side of the register. I say that I am sorry, and ask if these are all the items he wishes to purchase, well, I scan the two he has, then he continues to look down at the one on the floor then back up at me. I look at him and say "Is this all?" He picks up the item on the floor and says "I don't want that one, YOU made it fall. It probably doesn't work now." *Raised Eyebrow* "Oh, I'm sorry sir. Would you like to get another." *blank stare back at me* "Ummm, yeah . . ." *We both staring at the other to make a move* "Well, I can just hold this one and wait until you get back." "No, I just want a new one." *Raised eyebrow* "Well, let me call my CSM (My supervisor)." I punch in the code and we just wait, and wait, and wait. He stares at me then says "Well, it's probably still good. Let me just have that one." *PULLS OUT HAIR* "Okay, sir, no problem." "Here's your change and your recpeit. Have a nice day." So, the next guy behind him says "What a dick! He seen that toy about to fall but doesn't do anything. Just watches it fall. I was gonna pick it up, but he was being an asshole to you, so I didn't." "Thank you. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought he was rude."

This is just one case that has happened to me. There are countless others, some worse, some not so much.

So, to bring this venting to an end, let me just say, that when you are in line, waiting, and waiting, please understand that YOU get to leave the line while we cashiers still have to stay and deal with Kings & Queens of the store.

Wear a smile and you'll get a smile back (Okay, true, some cashiers are just plain BITCHES).

Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year!

Melancholy & The Infinite Sadness

"It's comin' on Christmas and they're cuttin' down trees and singing songs of joy and peace, oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on . . ." You and me both.

As much as I love Christmas, I feel this overwhelming sadness that always holds on even clear after New Year's. Try as I may, I keep this feeling at bay but it returns, sometimes greater, sometimes controllable. Perhaps it's the weather or lack there of that makes me feel this way, perhaps it's the general feeling around me that I am picking up on, but this feeling seems to grow and grow.

I'm tired, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I wish I could just let it all go and never look back again. Then I think, 'That would be the easy way out.' So, what if it is? Why can't it be easy for a change? How much more of this does one need to feel in order to know one really exists? Perhaps it is true, we allow our selves to be happy or sad, the choice is ours. Is it really?

I don't choose to be tired, but I am tired. I don't choose to be sad, but here it is. I can LIE to myself and say I am happy, but what's so wrong with being sad? Perhaps I just need a jolt in my life to wake me from this coma of melancholy and the infinite sadness in which I find myself.

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year

Cycling Hypos

Well, it's been awhile since I last made an entry. Things have gotten better, I have made little changes and those changes are good! However, I have a thought. This deals with long distance relationships. Are long distance relationships worth it? Are the bumps along the way even more severe than those in a 'normal' relationship?

Speaking from a bias point of view, I believe long distance relationships are much harder than 'normal' relationships. First of all, distance is the major factor which dampens the mood of the relationship. Having to endure day after day, night after night without the other is very tiring. Secondly, trust. One must trust the other in order to make the relationship work. Personally, I trust G. But from my past relationships (yes, they were all LDR's [Long Distance Relationships]) trust was what brought them all crashing down. Not that I cheated or they cheated, it was the trust that they wouldn't cheat. Finally, physical contact between the partners leads to encounters which are mostly full of 'lust'. When the the two partners come together after being alone for so long, usually the physical aspect of the relationship takes over. I am not saying this is wrong, being apart so long it's bound to happen, but shouldn't there be a moment of self-control?

Personally, I never wanted to get into another LDR but I find myself in one. I love G very much. However, my mind is plagued by my past LDR. The manner in which it ended has eradicated any trust I once held. I don't wanna punish G over my past, but how do I allow myself to recover from my past FAILED relationship? G knows how I feel about LDRs and assures me that there is no other nor does G want another. Yet, in my synical mind, I find myself thinking and thinking and I always come to the same conclusion: I don't deserve G.

Perhaps these are moments of self-doubt and self-hate, but is there a bit of truth in my mindless thoughts? Only time and patients will tell. . .

Until next time, may sugar plum fairies and cycling hypos invade your dreams . . .