Dark, Breezy and Content

It's three days until I fly into Las Vegas for a well deserved vacation. I'm so excited to be going but at the same a little apprehensive about what's in store.

I'll be meeting a friend I haven't seen in a very long time and we'll be going to a club this Thursday. Also, another friend who I haven't seen in a long time as well will be accompanying us. I really hike we'll have a blast dancing and dicing up our heels.

It feels good tonight, sitting in my dark breezy room. The music's playing and I'm laying here enjoying the night. Just three more days!!!!! So excited!

Well, I thought It's share a little with you all. More to come I swear.

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Sleepless Night

It's another sleepless night watching nonsense on tv. All these shows about finding the one, dealing with the one, getting rid of the one or cheating on the one has got me triking about my own relationships.

There are so many things I've done to save a relationship and so many things I should have done to make it better. I become afraid of having my partner cheat on me so I drive him away before it happens. I get jealous and start fights so he'll see Im not right for him. Perhaps I am afraid of really giving my heart to someone. I may open it up but only for a short amount time.

I'm so unhappy with the whirlpool of nothingness that my life has been drifting in, circling the drain. There is a quote I heard that made me think "If you want to know how to be here, stop waiting for something to happen." How am I suppose to expect something to happen if I do nothing?

I just don't know where to begin. To be honest, I'm lazy. However, there are times when I do get in the mood and start feeling inspired and start getting into gear. Then I lose fuel and end up in the same area.

I hate keep waiting for someone to complete me. I hate thinking about my exes and why they left me. I hate focusing on men. Not sex, just a relationship. It consumes me daily. Where does one begin?

Well, these are the thoughts that are swirling around my mind tonight before bed. I hope you all have a great evening. Xoxo's

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