Hello out there! It's been a long time since I've graced the universe with my meandering thoughts so here I am.
As this year comes to a close and a new year is eagerly awaiting to dawn we all can't help but look back on the past 349 days. How many were spent laughing, smiling, crying, idling, dreaming and working? How many new people did we meet, how many not-so-new people were we reintroduced to once again? Undoubtedly, this year wasn't what I had expected from the beginning of 2010. I was determined to reorganize my life. From college, to finances and to the ever elusive formidable prey, love.
On the 200th day of 2010 I turned 30. From everyone who has turned 30 or those who are dreading this number, I thought I would freak out. I didn't. I don't feel the number and hopefully I don't look it either. Numbers. Why are we obsessed with numbers? Numbers rule our world yet we've never really explored the tangent side of numbers. The more practical and logical value of numbers tells us I am 30 years old and am 5 feet 8 inches tall and weight 290 pounds. This describes the entity that is Eric; yet nothing is told about the entity's soul, mind and consciousness.
Four is the number of relationships I've had but not the number of times my heart has been broken. There isn't enough time in this life to count the times I've wished I were someone else, how easier it would be.
But 1 is the person I am among billions. One soul navigating the treacherous sea we call life. I've run my ship aground and laid anchor in the middle of nowhere. I've been through storms and calm waves but without a compass or the stars to guide me, I've been circling circles.
As I add up all my regrets and sorrows there is a remainder that is always left, though it's small and it's minuscule, it can move mountains. Hope is the remainder. I have hope that some day the number of times my heart has been broken will be infinitesimal to the number of times I've laughed and smiled, I have hope that the number of pounds I may lose or gain will never outweigh the love that will live inside me.
I make no promises this coming year; only hopes that I find a compass and the shining stars that will guide me to where I'm meant to be and to someone I can share my triumphs and failures, my love and happiness, my sorrows and tears.
See you all next year. ;-)
-Eric
